The Learning Pendulum

If you are a person that seems to swing from one extreme to another, you might be on the learning pendulum. What is the learning pendulum? It’s the idea that when a person is first learning something, they need to experience the extremes of that skill before they can fully integrate it. Let me give you an example.

When I was growing up, my parents often fought with each other. It was a tense household and so I felt like I needed to keep the peace. I figured that if I acted in a way that pleased mom and dad, then things wouldn’t be so chaotic. This led to some extreme people pleasing tendencies. 

I didn’t realize what was happening, but it was bothering me. So, I did what I could to break free from that problem. Instead of people pleasing, I was going to please myself. I went pretty far to the other extreme and started doing whatever I wanted, regardless of what people thought. I intentionally broke rules and spurned authority. It led to me doing some outrageous things and causing a lot of harm to others. 

I went back and forth between these extremes for a while before I was able to eventually integrate them. I needed to see that people pleasing led to poor boundaries and getting turned into a door mat, and I needed to see that being a rebellious jerk led to hurting people and getting in trouble. Neither was the right option. It’s good to be yourself without fear of judgement from others and it is also good to show others respect and work within the structure of society. There is a point somewhere in the middle that is ideal. 

This pendulum can exist with just about anything you want to learn. Maybe you are an artist and swing between radical expression and rigid structure. Maybe you are an athlete and you swing between only doing what your coach tells you to do and improvising every play. 

With flying, the extremes might be a little more subtle. Pilots usually err on the side of being cautious because pushing too far to the other extreme could lead to an accident. Still, the pendulum is usually an inherent feature of learning, so it will still show up. If you feel frustrated because something isn’t working, think about whether you are pushing towards one of the extremes and see if there is a happy middle you can find. When you realize this process is occurring, you can often find that middle quicker.